Lauren Marsella was born in the back seat of a car on a "Price is Right" Showcase Showdown. She was raised on hot dogs, Kraft Dinner, green eggs, green milk, & Kid Cuisine. The center of her childhood universe was Jessica Rabbit's ample bosom. Like Jesus, the role she was predestined to play in this world was very specifically ordained by the Almighty. Though her role is to be America's Greatest Unknown Living Artist rather than to die on the cross for all of humanity's sins. She writes:
"I became seriously involved with art when I first laid eyes on my brother's friend at the age of 7. He very closely resembled Pee Wee Herman, with whom I was obsessed at that point in my youth. I drew a picture of the two of us holding hands underneath a large rainbow spouting into a pot of gold, and at the top it read "I LOVE YOU PEE WEE." I instructed my brother to deliver this artwork to his friend which he did reluctantly. The boy returned my drawing stating he was not happy about it and never to contact him again. That's when I knew I was an artist."
Lauren Marsella cried when Pokemon died.
Lauren Marsella thinks she's hungry.
Lauren Marsella, America's Greatest Unknown Living Artist, has been known to communicate with Michael Jackson in her dreams and nightmares. Lauren Marsella cares about you. Lauren Marsella feels profound nostalgia for a time took time before she was even born. It was the time of the eGGeater dinosaur. Because Lauren Marsella is an eggeater, and she'll eat the hard-boiled egg right out of your nest when you're not looking, especially if your name starts with F and ends with resh Grocer in University City, Philadelphia. Lauren Marsella is a an upholder of at least three noble causes: bounty, celebration, and surprise. She believes in most of the 10 commandments but not the ones against watching more than 2 hours of television on a weeknight.
Lauren Marsella understands the power of the human spirit. Lauren Marsella typed up an artist statement in "Notepad" and all she got was this lousy T-Shirt.
Love, Lauren